The Lost Commandments

Thou shalt trust in me for all your monetary security.

Thou shalt always include my name when pledging yourself to your country.

Thou shalt ask for my help when swearing to the truth.

Thou shalt perform said swearing with one hand resting upon my holy book, or suffer thyself to be unbelieved.

Thou shalt include my name in as many speeches as possible, for this is how to stir the masses.

Thou shalt always profess thy belief in me, or suffer thyself to lose an election.

Thou shalt accept endorsements from my holy men, no matter how crooked or extreme they might seem.

Thou shalt know that I am always at thy side, even when thine enemy professes me to be at theirs.

Thou shalt always consult my holy book when deliberating over controversial matters, as it shall show you the truthful path.

Thou shalt ensure proper credit is given to me in all interviews about thy successes, and all failures shall be properly attributed to failures of thine self.